Blockage against men - how to differentiate it from fear of men (Androphobia)?
Androphobia or barrier – how to differentiate the fear of men
Do you feel fear towards men? Or maybe you only feel it in the presence of a particular male individual? Do you break out in a cold sweat when you have to converse with a man? Would you rather take on the most difficult tasks than meet with a man, even in a professional context? This can happen; the fear of men is also known as androphobia. However, apart from this phobia, there may also be a barrier against men. How can you distinguish between the two, and where can you seek help? I invite you to read this article.
Androphobia - is it something serious?
Androphobia is the fear of men. The term comes from the Greek words "andros," meaning man, and "phobos," meaning fear. It is a type of phobia characterized by an intense fear experienced by a woman when encountering men. This fear is so strong that it can paralyze the woman and often leads to other psychosomatic issues. Sometimes, this condition is ignored by the affected woman herself and by her family, who may dismiss it as mere shyness. Unfortunately, such illnesses are often downplayed, and the symptoms ridiculed. This attitude does not help the person suffering from this phobia and can lead to many consequences that affect the health and life of not only those with the phobia but also those around them.
Causes of androphobia
It is estimated that androphobia may affect 1 in 10 people in Poland, indicating a significant number. In 2018, there were 19,829,000 women living in Poland, which means approximately 1,929,000 women might have suffered from androphobia. These numbers are substantial, yet the issue is not widely discussed. This disorder may originate from a traumatic childhood experience involving a man, an event that left a deep scar. Observing a family member with such fear can also have an impact, as the fear can be transferred. Additionally, androphobia can be "acquired" through generational conversations. Previous generations—such as mothers, grandmothers, or even great-grandmothers—may pass on their aversion to men, often due to their own negative experiences. Although they might not have androphobia themselves, their consistent negative messaging can foster the phobia in others. The causes of phobias are highly varied and depend on mental state, life circumstances, and specific situations. They cannot be fully classified.
There's nothing to fear!
Women suffering from androphobia often hear these words, spoken as if to a small child afraid of something. This, of course, is not helpful and can even aggravate or embarrass the person. Misunderstanding or even mockery can lead to self-isolation and attempts to downplay the problem. Why is this not good? This phobia, like many others, can affect our bodies, not just our well-being. The effects of prolonged fear are indeed extensive.
The primary symptom of androphobia as a neurotic disorder is persistent, overwhelming fear of adult men. This means almost an inability to engage in close contact, which triggers panic attacks. It can lead to:
- Shortness of breath
- Increased sweating
- Dry mouth
- Chest tightness
- Trembling limbs or feeling paralyzed
- Dizziness
- Vomiting
- Heart palpitations
However, the effects of untreated androphobia can be very extensive and long-lasting. They include, for example:
Psychosomatic illnesses
- Gastric ailments (reflux, heartburn)
- Muscular issues (weakening of posture, stooping)
- Neurological issues (headaches, migraines)
Mental illnesses
- Depression
- Obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Paranoid schizophrenia
- Bipolar disorder
- Reduction in cognitive abilities, inability to concentrate
- Distancing from others, abandoning one's passion, a sense of hopelessness, lack of desire for social life.
Can it be treated?
It must be treated. Properly chosen cognitive-behavioral therapy, trust in your therapist, and sometimes the right psychiatrist and medication can be very promising. This approach helps the patient understand the mechanisms of their fear and work on it at their own pace, gradually learning to cope with it with complete understanding. Each therapy should be tailored individually. Some might suggest that it’s best if the therapist is male, but this is not a requirement. The most important thing is to get to know yourself, understand the fear, and try to start managing it. A good specialist will help guide us along this path, point out weak spots, support us in difficult moments, and select appropriate exercises. Working on this fear is extremely important for our mental health and for living a happy and harmonious life.
Blockade against men
Fear of men can also take a slightly different, somewhat milder, but still troubling form. Specifically, it can be like a wall preventing facing men. A woman may not feel comfortable in the presence of a man; sometimes even a simple touch can cause her disgust. And although she is not afraid, these are not normal relationships.
Such repulsion can also be caused by old traumas, injuries, bad experiences. The woman is not afraid and can consciously trust, but something stands in the way of a full, good relationship and pleasant emotions. Why is this a problem? The woman wants to be with a man; in her dreams, she imagines conversations, even touch or intimacy, but in real life, she is unable to do so. In case of a meeting, she flees, pretends to be in a hurry, makes excuses, because she is overwhelmed by discomfort. On the one hand, she desires closeness, dreams of a relationship, meeting, or even sex, but she cannot realize these dreams even under favorable conditions. The blockade, although not as intense as androphobia, also destroys one's life. As can be seen, the symptoms of androphobia and the blockade against men differ significantly in intensity and type, but both prevent normal functioning. If you have trouble distinguishing between these two fears, let me provide an example.
Case study
A 40-year-old woman. She was in a long-term relationship. Initially, she didn’t feel comfortable in it, but over time she felt completely safe. After 12 years, the relationship ended. The woman tried to rebuild her life. She fell in love. However, after spending one night together, the man disappeared. Since then, the woman has been avoiding men and feels ashamed around them. She would like to find love and happiness with a man, but she knows she won't even allow herself to be touched. And although she enjoys sex, she doesn't want to engage in it.
Here we have an example of a blockade against men. It is clear that this resulted from a distressing experience. Twice her relationship ended, twice she trusted and was hurt. Despite this, she would like to trust someone, but she has a repulsion, a fear of touch and closeness. Why is this not androphobia? There is no intense fear here; the woman does not vomit or faint at the sight of a man. Her heart does not race with fear; she simply cannot bear touch even though she would like to. It is a blockade in real life because in her dreams this blockade does not exist.
She is aware of what she feels, her emotions, and her problem. Therapy with a trusted therapist should be a good start. Working through and breaking down the issues will help reach the source.
How to differentiate androphobia from a blockade
The difference can be seen in the intensity of the symptoms. Severe, paralyzing fear clearly indicates androphobia. Inability to talk to a man even in situations absolutely unrelated to sex can signal a serious problem - androphobia. Panic attacks, vomiting are symptoms that should not be ignored. A blockade against men, while allowing us to function normally, affects our happiness and our lives.
Both fears can lead to consequences. Withdrawing from social life, convincing ourselves that something is wrong with us, shame, and limiting contact with everyone. These actions can ultimately lead to depression, so remember not to ignore any symptoms. It is worth consulting a specialist.
Massage as a means of releasing emotions
It is worth combining such therapy with massage. Often, women with blockades against men come to me for massages. The decision to sign up for such a massage is usually very difficult, sometimes a woman postpones the decision to sign up for a tantric massage for several years. They tell me how extremely difficult this task was for them, how many emotions they had to overcome, and how much internal resistance they had to conquer. It is like stepping out of their comfort zone.
Women who choose such a massage and come to me are often those who have experienced abuse, contentious divorces, or are in the process of breaking up and forming a new relationship. They realize that the topic of men is difficult for them. They cannot handle it on their own, although they keep trying, they are unable to work through it. Their goal is to reopen themselves to men, to their touch or closeness—something they once had but lost.
The most amazing part is observing how these women open up. The deep and rapid effects and benefits that these women experience are an extraordinary part of my work.
Note: The above advice is only a suggestion and cannot replace a visit to a specialist. Remember, in the case of health problems, it is essential to consult a doctor! While we may diagnose ourselves with one of the above conditions, this diagnosis can be incorrect. It could be something entirely different, which is why only a specialist, based on a thorough interview, can make a diagnosis. It is also worth considering radiobiological treatments through a radiobiological central
Source:
E. J. Bourne, Lęk i fobia. Praktyczny podręcznik dla osób z zaburzeniami lękowymi, tł. R. Andruszko, Kraków 2011. Międzynarodowa Statystyczna Klasyfikacja Chorób i Problemów Zdrowotnych: https://www.csioz.gov.pl/fileadmin/user_upload/Wytyczne/statystyka/icd10tomi_56a8f5a554a18.pdf http://psychologia.edu.pl/czytelnia/58-maestwo-i-rodzina/669-roznicujacy-wplyw-plci-na-relacje-rodzicow-i-dzieci.html Polska w liczbach 2019. Główny Urząd statystyczny, Departament Opracowań statystycznych pod kierunkiem Magdaleny Ambroch
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